Who needs sleep anyway?

I hate to sleep. Usually its because of nightmares or being stressed/upset over something that my brain won't shut up about long enough for me to rest.

Today? I dunno. I was doing a lot of thinking and realized the sun was up, decided to take a long hot bath, then realized that Candy was awake... So I went ahead and filled in that application and had her run me to drop it off. Now it'll be there tomorrow morning when the Manager comes in, and the guy I gave it to was very pleased with me already having experience and being willing to work graveyards.

Sure, its just a gas station, but money is money. Besides, theres a trip I wanna take at the end of July, and I need to save up for the one in October... and I'd like to go back to phoenix to visit for a weekend sometime before the end of the year (though half the time when I ponder that one it includes the option of that being a move back home but we'll see. Its still 60/40 against at the moment).

Haven't done any writing today but quite a bit of thinking. The unfortunate thing about my choice of plot and subject matter is that I have to slide into a specific sort of headspace in order to really put serious thought to it. Problem is its much too easy to get into that place, and easy to shift from there into being depressed.

I can't decide whether its a project that should be put on hold until I'm in a generally better frame of mind... or one that I should focus on right now as an outlet for all the ick. Exorcism onto the page. Thats half the reason I write in the first place, but usually there are topics that I avoid because they come TOO close...

I'm either going to make myself an egg sammich, take a nap, or continue sorting through my music. I could easily put together a playlist of emo/mopey/depressed/dark music to get me into the right mood. Course I can get there just by thinking too much about being lonely.

Bah.

I don't know why so much of my life has to center around "men" and my consistent romantic failures. Of course, a lot of that is what I'm putting into the book. Bleed the poison out by fictionalizing it (is that even a word?).

Well. At least I did something productive today. Maybe I will take that nap, though its a 50/50 chance I'll end up just laying in bed staring at the ceiling fan.

I so very dearly wish my silly old laptop were good enough to play the Sims 3... But thats more incentive to get a Job. Save money for a new laptop and the game. Candy works at Wallmart, discounts are shiny.