I tell you, some days its not worth chewing your way out of the cardboard box, or so my raccoon friend tells me. Isn't he awesome? Found it on some cute animals site or other and couldn't help but snag it. These days anything that brings a smile is worth clinging to for a bit.
Its not bad, not horribly bad. Stressful, frustrating, aggravating as hell... but not as bad as it could be, and better than some times I've been through.
Still no job, living in a place where if I don't find a job soon I may be looking at moving in with the Raccoon.. heh... having no luck at job searching stuff and getting really really realllly sick of people who offer advice that is flavored with judgment. Why these people seem convinced that I'm not trying at all I'm not really sure... But most days its hard not to tell them where to shove their judgmental attitudes.
Today was especially hard as I came |--| <- This Close to getting hired at a job fair thing. Except? I don't have a bank account, and they only pay through direct deposit, so they can't hire me. I was so angry I walked most of the mile home in unter 10 minutes. StompStompStomp. Rant. Rage. Etc.
However! An awesome, insanely perky and upbeat friend has offered to help me. Tomorrow I am instructed to call back the one (ONE) place that actually interviewed me, as they should have a yes/no answer by now... and Friday she is going to run me around to places that might be hiring (actually hiring, not just "taking applications") in an ordely, sane fashion that will hopefully be more productive than previous attempts.
Sent an email to my Dad begging, to see if he could help with fundage enough to get a bank account opened, and may have a friend or two who can help a little. Will see. I have a piece of paper that gives me until the 31st to get back to them with the direct deposit info and I may still get hired (Its just a bit less likely, since it was a job fair and 300+ ppl applying for 20 positions).
All of that inane rambling aside... Stress and misery due to not being able to find a job aside...
There are times that I feel genuinely happy, and a lot of times that I just feel content with most of my life... There's even someone that I'm completely infatuated with, and even if that doen't go where I'd like, its nice to at least have had that dream to revel in for a little while. I have days when thats enough. Regardless of what happens tomorrow, next month, or whenever else... Being able to take a moment out of the day to just dwell on the thought of potentially being loved and wanted by him... Definitely worth it. I'll probably screw it up before it can really be more than just a warm fuzzy, because we are talking about Me... But yeah, the thought is a nice one, and I'll hold onto it for now.
I have some good friends, a few outright amazing friends, and a lot of new acquaintances that have the potential to become friends.
I'm writing again, my head constantly full of thoughts and ideas and characters.
Getting a job would solve the majority of my miseries, and the money that the job will bring can help solve most of the rest.
Life could be better, but I'd rather be where I am right now than be any of the places where its been worse... and even some of the better ones. There are enough reasons to enjoy my current time and place and situation that I'm willing to fight to hold onto it, to the potentials of what could be, and see where the path leads from here.
<3 Shanon
2 comments:
Yay for you being upbeat!
Try Chase. They used to be Wamu and they have free checking. I don't know how exactly Chase works, but at Wamu you could open a checking account with just $1.
My dad said he would send a little, and a friend loaned me enough to open the account so long as I pay her back once I get it. Provided I pass a background check, I start training on the 16th.
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