Rant of a Receptionist

Every Damn Day I go on this rant at least once after a call from some moron or other.

 

Hello.

 

What part of "NOT INTERESTED" and "NO SOLICITING" are you too STUPID to understand??

 

Do we have a contract with you? Did we contact you asking for information about your product? Have we advertised an interest in your product? If your answer to any of these questions is "NO" then you are attempting to solicit, and we do not want to talk to you.

 

Are you cold calling businesses in an attempt to sell? Are you warm calling businesses in an attempt to sell? Are you calling a business which your company does not already have a contract or agreement with? Are you hoping that we will agree to enter into a purchase, lease, or contractual agreement with your company? Is your intent to initiate a business arrangement in which this company will exchange cash for goods or services from your company? If your answer to any of these questions is "Yes" "Well..." "Maybe..." or "But..." Then you are attempting to solicit, and I am going to get incredibly pissy if not outright rude.

 

Guess what, I have to be nice all day long to people who are rude to me because the person they called for is unavailable, I have to be polite to customers even when they are speaking abusively toward me, even if they are using profanity... You, however... are not our customer and I am not only allowed to behave as I please toward you, but am instructed to do anything necessary to shut you down.

 

Step into my parlor, mr Salesman... Have a seat, have a drink, settle in and have a nap... be a good little fly and stay still while I wrap you up in a nice cozy coccoon of webbing.